Confessions Circle

He gave me an appraising look over the top of his drink, and I smiled back nervously.
"Call me," he said, taking out his phone and snapping my picture.
Cue psychobabble- "Oh, I can't. I mean, I want it, but I gave my phone to a hobo last week, I mean, I don't usually do generosity but.. oh, no. I buy the Big Issue and that so.. but no, I mean, I was having a drunken spat, and I haven't got a new one yet cos the shop didn't have any of them in in pink, and..."
He smiled then, a real smile, and wrote his number on the inside of my arm, "just in case you accidentally lose it."
At door he paused and looked back at me.
Walking over, he took my drink out of my hand. "I'll be lonely if I go home now," he said, sipping on my cocktail. "Do you want to come back to mine?"

* * *

A few days later saw my return to the same pub, but this time with different company- my Alec and Sophie flatmates, Sophie's rather charmless girlfriend Gnome flatmate and a few others. We walked in, chatting away, then simultaneously turned from the bar and claimed a table on the opposite side of the room to where we were originally headed. The table sported several used glasses and a smoking cigarette tray, but it had one thing going for it- a clear view of Him.
We sat in silence for a moment, before hurriedly commencing our original conversation.
Gnome came back from a trip "to powder my nose," and caught us all peeking across the room under our eyelashes.
She laughed, and we all started surreptitiously checking for dribble.
"C'mon, be honest, who's had him?"

Silence.

Alec downed his drink and grinned slightly, hiding behind his jazzy new braided hair. He half raised his hand, "freshers week, last year" and two others followed suit, "freshers week, this year"
Determined to keep my dignity I slunk off my seat in the direction of the ladies, but was stopped mid-slink by the threatening glances cast towards my handbag and a few poisonously coloured cocktails that promised to leave a lovely accidental stain if I ran away from all this.
"Oh OK, fine, I had him the night before last. Well, not had him because thats a horrible expression, but... yeah."
We all turned to stare at Sophie and Gnome, the only two remaining.
"Us?" They both grinned, "Unlike you lot we're able to make up our minds- we don't do boykind."

Looks like lesbianism is the only way to avoid the charms of this one.