I hereby formally apologise to the man I met in the lift in Kendals this morning; yes, I did hear you say you wanted floor four, but I pressed three anyway because I thought it would be funny. When you started yelling at me and when I then "consciously chose to ignore you" in order to respond to the more pressing need of answering my mobile I do, of course, realise that was just as rude and inconsiderate as you kindly pointed out to me. So I gave you my blog address, didn't I?

And promised a suitable humble apology would be published on the internet as a lesson to all other young whippersnappers who might, perchance, similarly fall suit to depravity.

Still, as a method for generating blog traffic I think it ranks only slightly below changing the background of all the computers on show in the London Apple store to your blog address. In flashing red. With excess exclamation marks.

While not suitably repentant, I am making an effort to channel the excess energy into other, 'more worthwhile' activities. Like list making.
Today I have learned that;
~ Deliberately mishearing people; "Are you deaf?" "Pardon?" is not funny. Well, I think it is- in small doses- but I was informed, by the man what i dedicate this post to, that it isn't. So it isn't.
~ There are people out there who believe me when I say "oh, yes, well, I do indeed have tonsillitis, but don't worry, my doctor said it was the non contagious kind." I mean, meeting one (who, thus reassured, tried to stick his tongue down my throat) means there must be more. Whats most worrying here is that he went to Harrow and then Oxford. Oh, and that I let him, of course. That bothers me slightly, in retrospect. But I'm not breeding with him, so it's fine.
~ Magnums are impossible to eat, especially when wearing a white silk top. Especially when it's chucking it down. Even more so when you decide to go out and sort of surreptitiously jig about in the rain; I adore heavy rain- you know, those rare occasions when it rains like in the tropics, where the heavens practically open. An excuse, if there ever was one, to get my hair wet.
~ One of my ears is pierced all the way up. When did that happen? I didn't notice that happening! I should have done, but... I have no idea how I managed to miss that little nugget of information- next thing you know I'll be finding a tattoo.
~ Just because I smoke cigarettes does not mean I'm capable of smoking a pipe without instruction.

I embarrassed myself with almost as much vigour as the first time I tried smoking, y'know, normal things.