Of Heathens and Heavens

As I shuffled past the church on the way back from doing the whole student thing, he pounced.
"Good evening my dear! Just how are you today?"
I stopped, and tried to peek round the brim of my hat which cut my world view off at shoulder level. I saw the gleam of a cross round his neck and whimpered, pulling my hat down lower and tried to run* nonchalantly off down the street.
Until. Catching my heel in a gap in the paving, I stooped quickly to pull it free- and thats when he caught me
I squeaked, desperately avoiding eye contact "I'm sorry, I'm in a hurry."
"Oh, no problem. I'll walk you to... where are you going my dear? Home? Have you had a nice day at work?"
Five minutes later he was still latched onto my arm, and I was losing all resiliance- I'd have bought anything from him if he'd just promised to leave.
After another five minutes, I was well and truly lost, and had begun to talk back.
"And you know my dear, all Jesus asks is that you let him into your heart, and then he'll let you into heaven. Don't you want to go to heaven?"
"So, it has nothing at all to do with me being a nice person?"

He kept talking, and I caught sight of my appartment building, and sped up.
"I'm home. Thanks for walking me back.." I began the laborious process of detaching myself from my newly acquired Christian.
"Goodbye my dear. Don't go walking home in the dark alone again, ok? Just let me know and I'll walk you back, it's not safe."
Long pause, while I tried to work out just what I'd gotten myself into. And then he went on, "So I'll see you again sometime soon, ok my dear? Maybe in London, maybe in heaven."

A tall shape unfolded itself from the shadows around the doorway, and my beautiful Sophie flatmate stepped into sight- I've never been so glad to see her. I hurled myself at her, and gave her a hug.
Which somehow turned into a big kiss.
And really, with the whole flusteredness that brought on, I could have done without being called names by the Christian Stalkee, who seemed to lose all his earlier desire to save my soul, and was fervently condemning us to hell- in between dribbling slightly; girl on girl action, who can resist?
Apparently not the Pure of Soul.



* I say run..