Audience of One
Due to the tremendous staying power of my mystery bug, I've been receiving visitors at my bedside- very regal.
Which is where I extracted this admission from my friend- with the help of periodic bouts of sniffling and coughing. Some people will admit to anything with a largely incoherent audience of one.
Moi- "Hang on! Run that by me again."
Kate- shooting me a pissy look; oh, if looks could kill. "You heard"
Moi- "Yes, but I thought it might have been a hallucination, y'no how it is"
Kate- "Not really, no. The rest of us just get on with things when we have a cold. But fine- I've had sex with five people in the last three months, and I only know one of their names and no it wasn't the one I lost my virginity with. Happy now?"
Moi- "Not really, no. Go on with the one whose name you DO know"
Kate- "NO! Just ask him!"
Moi- Sniffling piteously. "I can't ask him, he'll think I care. We'll leave that- just remind me how old you are?"
She got her own back though, by managing to eat all the chocolate she'd brought me without me noticing- the girl has hidden talents, I'm telling you. She should have been a pick pocket, or an extortionist.
Oh, bless her, I just love having the moral high ground. It doesn't happen very often- although it's getting more frequent, due to this whole Committed Relationship lark.
But at least I finally know why she doesn't like gentleman friend J...
Which is where I extracted this admission from my friend- with the help of periodic bouts of sniffling and coughing. Some people will admit to anything with a largely incoherent audience of one.
Moi- "Hang on! Run that by me again."
Kate- shooting me a pissy look; oh, if looks could kill. "You heard"
Moi- "Yes, but I thought it might have been a hallucination, y'no how it is"
Kate- "Not really, no. The rest of us just get on with things when we have a cold. But fine- I've had sex with five people in the last three months, and I only know one of their names and no it wasn't the one I lost my virginity with. Happy now?"
Moi- "Not really, no. Go on with the one whose name you DO know"
Kate- "NO! Just ask him!"
Moi- Sniffling piteously. "I can't ask him, he'll think I care. We'll leave that- just remind me how old you are?"
She got her own back though, by managing to eat all the chocolate she'd brought me without me noticing- the girl has hidden talents, I'm telling you. She should have been a pick pocket, or an extortionist.
Oh, bless her, I just love having the moral high ground. It doesn't happen very often- although it's getting more frequent, due to this whole Committed Relationship lark.
But at least I finally know why she doesn't like gentleman friend J...
posted by Imogen @ 7:40 pm
3 Comments:
At 23 January, 2006 22:31 ,
Fuckkit said...
Details? Where are the details? I'm seeing vague references but no details...
At 25 January, 2006 16:46 ,
Patt said...
Yeah we need more details.The last boy was right.Five men in 3 months thats ,20 a year,200 a decade,1000 in fifty years.She'l only know 50 of these guys.She probably wont be able to walk and might have 100 kids,Some of whom may be Rangers fans.Its just not worth it.To run such a risky path in life.Tell her to keep the next one she knows who has a name and to bring grapes the next time she visits.Thats the was i see it,I might be wrong but then again you might get some grapes so weres the risk.
At 25 January, 2006 22:53 ,
Imogen said...
>she probably won't be able to walk<
Is that true? I thought it was just an old wives-ish tale, with the same reliability factor as some of the more imaginative plague remedies..
And grapes would be nice- I hate to say it, but I've actually reached the stage where chocolate and ice cream have ust lost all appeal.
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