I missed the fucking train to Abergavenny- not the good kind of missing, when you realise you're running late and might as well kick back somewhere nice, but bad missing. I arrived at the platform to witness the fucking train departing before my very eyes.

I fucking hate public fucking transport, and with good fucking reason.

*breathes*

So when was the next train? An hour away. Fan-fucking-tastic, I got to spend an hour in one of my least favourite places; a train waiting room, with nothing to entertain me but my iPod and a full pack of twenty cigarettes- and, the waiting room being unnecessarily close to Millie's Cookies, I also spent the hour exercising self control.

I'm amazingly bad at that, but I chain-smoked myself into ignoring the enticing cookie smell.

Feeling a little dizzy I clambered on board the next train, and settled down in a reasonably empty carriage. Curled up in my seat, arms wrapped tight around my legs I leaned back and willed the journey not to take too long- travelling time is weird; you look at your watch, it's 10am. An hour goes by, you check your watch again, and it's 10.15. Anyway, so dozing off in my seat, iPod still going, a gentleman came over to "chat".

Chat indeed.

I'd passed him on my way down the carriage, noticed; ugly; and moved on. But he moved so he was sitting opposite me- and then felt it necessary to tap me on my shoulder, when the Blondie thundering in my ears didn't allow me to notice him immediately. And THEN he insisted on talking to me.

Why on earth do people even bother?

"I saw you smoking on the platform. You really shouldn't do that, it's bad for you."
"Really?"
"Oh yes, of course it is."
"I hadn't noticed."

-pause-

"You know, coming from me, that's not on."
"Isn't it?"
"Look" and he dragged a crumpled pack of cigarettes from his pocket.
"Nice."
"Do you want one?"
"No."
"Are you sure? They're different to yours."

-pause-

And then he said it, the most hated phrase of all time.
"Cheer up babe, it might not happen."

-pause-

"So, y'no, are you alright?"
"Not really."
"Oh yeah? How come?"
*sitting up and looking at him* "I stopped at my boyfriend's last night, I'm knackered."

Triumph, surely?

-pause-

"So, where are you heading?"

"What music are you listening to?"

-pause-

"Have you seen them in concert?" he asked.
"Blondie? How old do you think I am!?"

I made a break for the toilet, dragging all my stuff after me, then found a seat in another carriage.

And he did, of course, change at Cardiff with me.

He crossed the platform towards me. "Say, babe, we were getting on pretty well earlier, don't you think?"
"Were we?"
"So, can I have your number?"
"I have a boyfriend."

-pause-

I dragged my stuff towards my next train; Abergavenny bound, and he followed me.
"What?"
"Say, can I have, like, a hug goodbye?"

Argh.