Of Thieves and Fortunes

"Look on the bright side and just be grateful they left you your purse!"

How very generous.

Admittedly I didn't regard this theft as such such a big tragedy at the time as, let's face it, I haven't bought myself an alcoholic beverage since the J era- I do, however, keep myself well supplied with coffee, which is pretty much a full time high expense job.
I'm also willing to admit that this was maybe a teensy bit my fault for leaving my bag unchaperoned on the table when I was dancing- like a truly awful date, who it left with is not necessarily who it arrived with.

I lost;
One bear factory card.
One set of house keys.
One debit card.
One blood donor card (is it just me, or is this really creepy?).
One polka dot condom (apart from the decoration, I'm practically a teenage boy at heart).
A photo of me and about ten of my friends last time we went on a seaside jaunt; the seaside bit becomes clear, as the photo is just a birdseye view of our sandy feet as we stood in a circle.
My hairdressers' business card.
One card, telling me when and where I was to go to have my palm read.

It's hard to tell which of these things I'm most upset about; I suspect it's the palmistry card, as I have no idea when I was supposed to go. But really, if she's a psychic worth her salt she'll know the circumstances and get in touch and make everything better.
Because the thought of standing up somebody who dabbles in the occult makes me nervous.

I also lost £50 cash, which I'm most definitely upset about; now it's gone, I have big plans for that money. I mean, I could have bought a pair of shoes, or even a new outfit, or my body weight in blueberry muffins, or so so many Lush bathbombs, or had my hair cut somewhere posh, or gone on a train journey to somewhere undesirabe like Bristol, or I could have had a tattoo done, or bought some fabulous underwear.
Or I could have paid my rent for this week, or paid my share of the extortionate price we're being charged to have the boiler fixed, or paid to have that window fixed, or paid for gym membership.

You get the picture, I'm sure.