Vodka and Valium

Joel's still staying with me.

Which is just grand, except it means that not only is my sex life at an all time low (I mentioned he keeps sleeping in my bed, right?) but it's going to stay that way until he leaves. Which could be in a day, a week, a month; he's not going to know himself until it happens, so..

I'm screwed.

Not literally, which is the problem.

The bigger problem though, is that unlike me he has absolutely no qualms about getting laid during his visit- we went out for a few drinks last night, and he rapidly abandoned me at the bar while he went to work his magic; and got off with the fat girl with the ugly shoes and the giggling friend in the corner.

Finding myself alone, I plastered a smile on my face and turned my feminine wiles on the guy stood next to me; I should have been more selective- who on earth thinks that talking about your most recent exes will help you pull?

"And yeah, then she left me you see, said I wasn't going anywhere, like. And you know what I said to her? I said, I said, right, I told her, I'm going somewhere love, I'm going down the bloody pub!"

After possibly five minutes of that, a large part of the first act of Othello having been run through my head and nothing like enough vodka to make me feel sorry for him and stay, I made my excuses-

"Can't I get you another drink?" He asked, smiling a little desperately, eyes fixed on my chest, hand resting casually on his crotch.

"No. I'm bored now."

Boredom is the absolute best excuse for anything, even rudeness.

In my room slightly later, I expected to luxuriate in finally having my bed to myself- to be honest, I think was expecting it to be the way Mrs Moorehead says it is in The Women- "living alone has its compensations. Heaven knows it's marvelous being able to spread out in bed like a swastika."

But no. I was lonely, just couldn't sleep, and even the cat was ignoring me; when it finally swatted a clawed paw in my direction and turned its back on me, I got up and padded into the kitchen.

I know people who take valium in order to sleep. I mainline blueberry muffins.