Summary of today

Him - Hello there! What are you doing?
Me - Not so much. Eating cheese and crackers. Singing along to the radio.
Him - At the same time?
Me - Yes. But not right now, obviously, because that wouldn't be pretty. Or practical.
Him - Hmm. What kind of cheese?
Me - Tell me, sir, are you drunk?
Him - What? No. Why?
Me - I have this theory you see, that you only initiate conversations with me when you're drunk.
Him - No, I'm just bored.
Me - Now, or whenever you decide to talk to me?
Him - I'm not sure. Which is likely to get the most mileage out of this conversation?